Take Time To Smell the Roses
“There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of existence.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I heard a fascinating lecture on the science of happiness. The lecture was filled with interesting studies and research. The speaker gave five suggestions on how to be happy.
Adequate sleep
Meditation
Read books
Keeping a gratitude journal
Make a gratitude visit
The last suggestion for me was like getting sprayed in the face with cold water. I was being challenged to visit someone that had fundamentally shaped my life and not wait until the eulogy to tell them. It’s not surprising that we all strive to be successful in our careers whatever they may be, and at times it can consume us a little too much, but we all should take a moment and nurture our relationships with others and tell people what they mean to us. What are you doing to nurture your relationships?
Relationships are extremely important. Nurture them. Appreciate them!
Awareness + Curiosity + Choice = Change
Using my model, here are some steps you may find helpful. Although they may appear obvious and simple, they take lots of practice.
Awareness
What does the number 168 mean to you?
If you guessed the number of hours in one week, you are correct! We all have the same number of hours each week. If we subtract out the basic hours necessary for sleeping, grooming, eating, and careers, we have very little discretionary time. How we spend our time today determines what we have tomorrow, so we must be mindful of our choices.
I have found awareness exercises to be very helpful regarding how I spend my time and they have empowered me to make changes. I should mention that the same exercises have also been helpful to ensure I make better decisions around nurturing relationships with people I care about.
What do you like about where you are now regarding your relationships?
What else do you want?
What will happen if you don’t begin to nurture your relationships?
Curiosity
Please answer these without research.
Name three winners of the Nobel Prize.
Name three winners of Wimbledon.
Name the three wealthiest people in the world.
Name three people who made you feel appreciated.
Name three people who helped you through a challenging time.
Name three coaches or mentors who helped you along your personal and/or professional journey.
I encourage you to take some time to think about who makes the most difference in your life.
Choice
In the curiosity exercise, which was easier for you to answer - the first three statements or the last three statements?
For me, it was the last three statements. Do you get it?
Most of us don’t seem to remember yesterday’s news, even of those who were best in their respective fields. The people we remember are the people who make the most difference in our lives. They are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards on their walls. We remember the ones who made us feel cared for and the ones who made us feel valued and important.
What is one small step you can take now to nurture your relationships?
When will you take action?
How will your one action step contribute to your happiness?
Change
Learn how to change your way of doing things regarding your relationships and achieve increased and meaningful happiness.
What percentage of your time do you spend nurturing relationships?
How do you want to move forward?
What behaviors or habits do you want to change, eliminate, or acquire?